I’m at war with discouragement.
I’ve been unemployed for 38 days and counting. No income. Still no word from the government about possible interim income.
Oh, I’ve had a couple of interviews recently. I was even offered one of the jobs. But, they offered me a part-time job with unspecified hours when I had applied for a full-time job. When I turned that down, they came back with a second offer but they were so deceptive throughout the whole process that what initially seemed like a great job proved to be anything but. As for the second job, I’m still waiting on the ‘verdict’.
Discouragement is the feeling of despair in the face of obstacles. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Feelings. Bah, humbug. Who can trust them. If I’ve learned one thing in my life it’s that feelings are not facts. They’re just our personal reaction to our immediate circumstances. Feelings don’t live in the future, don’t consider the future, rarely even acknowledge the future, they just live in the moment. So, they’re not terribly reliable.
That being said, it’s probably not a healthy thing to deny or suppress our feelings but I do believe there’s great merit in acknowledging the truth of what we’re feeling and, if necessary, going to war against it.
Why war? Well, negative feelings like discouragement need to be battled against or they will defeat us.
And, make no mistake, I have no plans to concede defeat.
Life is tough at the moment. It takes an act of will to keep pushing forward, to fight, to believe, to hope, to concentrate, to put one foot in front of the other, to have faith, to get out of bed.
Discouragement is paralyzing, hope is mobilizing. I’m somewhere between the two at any given moment but aiming to stay at least 51% in hope’s corner. I want to keep discouragement on it’s toes, somewhere behind me. Hopefully far, far behind me.
A deke is a classic hockey term but I think it makes a great war term. “Quickly changing direction so the opposing player is caught out of position”. I love dekes in hockey and I love the concept of dekes in war.
I think it defies human nature to be forward thinkers. Especially when the present is overwhelming. But, hope looks forward. Hope looks up. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I never know what tomorrow will bring.
I believe that this too shall end. I believe there’s no strength without strain. I believe that good will come of this. I believe that I have the choice to be bitter or to be better, and I choose better. I believe my choice to never give up will make a difference in someone’s life. I believe that the lessons I’ve been learning in the ‘trenches’ will be an encouragement to others. I believe that who I become through the struggle is far more important than the circumstances themselves. And, as a person of faith, I believe that God works ALL things together for good. For my good. God has a plan for my life and He’s not finished yet.
Am I feeling discouraged? Yes, I am.
Am I defeated? Not by a longshot. I might be down but I’m not out.
I might not deke as well as Sid the Kid but I do have skills. Mad skills too, if I say so myself…