I received an e-mail yesterday from someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in months, and who knows virtually nothing about my marital break-up except for what my husband has told him over the past 4 1/2 months. However, out of the blue, this person decided to take it upon himself to send me an e-mail to say that my version of events is not supported by ‘truth’ or ‘reality’, and that my leaving was ‘a bit overdone’. He ended the e-mail by saying he ‘cares’. To make matters worse, he’s a pastor (and not even mine).
I’m not sure how this person could possibly know the truth or reality of my marriage since nobody really know what goes on behind closed doors except for the people themselves. Or how he could construe my leaving after more than 11 years of marriage to be overdone. Or what he even hoped to achieve by sending me the e-mail in the first place except to pass judgement since he never offered any proof of his accusations.
The word even sounds harsh.
It’s not my place to judge other people. Everybody has the freedom to make their own choices and to live their own life. I might not always agree with their decisions or opinions or their actions but my only responsibility is how I live my own life.
I can’t change my past, I can’t change the things that have happened to me, I can’t change the things I’ve done, I can’t change the things I regret, I can’t change anything but today, tomorrow and the future. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am and not for who people think I should be. I want people to take the time to get to know ME, and to see that I’m a person of value and worth who has been shaped into the person I am today BECAUSE of everything I’ve experienced, both good and bad.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and place to speak the truth in love. I have a very close circle of people who I can trust to be honest with me about anything and everything because I know they truly love me and want the very best for me. They always speak the truth in love. They’ve made a positive difference in my life.
Just imagine a world where people took the finger they are so quick to point at others and turned it to point at themselves.
Just imagine a world where people regularly examined their own lives instead of the lives of others.
Just imagine a world where only the people without sin, fault, and failings were the ones to cast the first stone.
Just imagine a world where people were quick to extend a hand to help others up instead of extending a hand to push them down.
Just imagine a world where people realized that there but for the grace of God go they.
Just imagine a world where people judged a whole lot less and loved a whole lot more.
Just imagine a world where people put themselves in other people’s shoes and realized that the people they’re so quick to lash out at are probably really hurting.
Just imagine a world where people realized that they don’t really know as much as they think they know.
Just imagine a world where people showed grace, love, and mercy instead of contempt, hatred, and judgement.
Some of you will agree with me and some of you won’t. But, that’s ok.
You’re free to judge for yourselves.